Zimmerman portraying a ghost. (Photo credit: Wikipedia) |
There have been many things in my life that I've said or done that I wish that I hadn't or at least wish had been handled differently than they were handled at the time. I'm not a big believer in dwelling on regrets. What's done is done and if it can't be changed it's usually a waste of time dwelling upon it. On rare occasions we might be able to fix what we've damaged or at least say we're sorry for something that might have happened so long ago that most of those involved have stopped thinking about it. Still, we often have those ghostly nagging memories that keep coming back to haunt us.
Some of my ghosts come from childhood while others are more recent. I have no doubt that new missteps will arise to haunt me in the years to come. Like any of us, I am only human and prone to making mistakes that I'll wish I hadn't made. That's life for any of us. And as bad as our mistakes might be or seem to be, they can be valuable life lessons as well as subject matter for memoir that can help others learn from the mistakes we've made.
Besides being lessons from which to learn, in the end our mistakes should not be heavy burdens to shoulder, but part of the story line of who we are and the journey that we've traveled. Our mistakes should not define who we are unless we are among the unfortunate few who continually return and never learn from the things we do wrong. The story of this type of person is a sad one indeed and uplifts no one unless there comes a revelatory moment that results in a substantive change for the better and redemption at the end of the tale.
There are probably few who desire this transformative evolution from bad to good, inept to adept, or lost to found, though when it happens it can be a great story. The ghosts of past deeds will always be there to haunt us long after the occurrences. Our choice is whether we allow the ghosts of the past to haunt us into a dark place of retreat or to accept them, try to understand them, and hopefully learn from them.
Our memories are specters that we must find a way to live with and eventually at some point make peace with. Allowing bad memories to haunt us into a fear of living and a remorse for having lived achieves nothing positive for us. You and I all have ghosts of past memories and mistakes. Rather than becoming a slave to them, make them work for you. A haunted house can be scary while a haunted life is tragic.
What ghosts from your past haunt you? Are bad memories a bad thing? How do you turn the tide on personal negative thinking to make your past a positive?
Please visit Tossing It Out tomorrow for my next Battle of the Bands post. The song I'll be using relates to what I've discussed in today's Wrote By Rote post.
I have lots of bad memories that haunt me. I can't get past the emotional and mental abuse I suffered at the hands of my mother who is,unfortunately, still alive and still gets her digs in at me. I don't know if I'll ever be free of it and her. With my luck she'll live forever.
ReplyDeleteJoJo, I'm sorry about your relationship with your mother. As one who had a wonderful mother who is now gone, I treasure my memories of her and wish she were still around where I could talk to her and visit with her. Her image haunts me daily--but it is a good haunting even if melancholy. I hope that someday you make amends with you mother. The fact that you are still in contact with her means something I think and all is not lost between you--I hope that's the case.
DeleteLee
Yes, we all have our personal "emotional baggage", which shapes who we are as people. It's our choice whether we become stronger because of it, or become lost and haunted. Determination to rise above is key. Inspiring post, Lee!
ReplyDeleteDebbie, some people are so wrapped up in their emotional baggage that they become difficult to be around.
DeleteLee
Hi Lee - there's always challenges through life and things we regret. I just try and not let them haunt me ... and I sincerely hope ghosts won't appear! Cheers Hilary
ReplyDeleteHilary, life has enough troubles and problems without carrying around the old ones and living life through them.
DeleteLee
I never thought of the baggage we all carry as ghosts.
ReplyDeleteI don't believe in living with regrets but thankful for being given a conscience.
Ann, a conscience is a helper while a regret is a hinderer.
DeleteLee
I doubt there are any who don't have a skeleton or two in their closet. We can board up the door or clean out the closet. It's always a shame when someone decides to crawl on into the darkness of regrets. Mistakes become lessons when you learn from them. I like your idea of life as a 'story line' :-) That would mean each experience is but another exciting chapter in the individual, epic books our lives. In that regard, a memoir could be written in a much more thoughtful manner and thus ensuring an enjoyable read as well. Great inspiration, Lee!
ReplyDeleteDiedre, a life story is much better when told as a vivid story and not an account of dates, people and facts. We each have a story.
DeleteLee