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| Everett High School Auditorium |
Recently over at Robin's Your Daily Dose blog, she's been doing some life reflecting with a Soundtrack of My Life series. I've done similar posts over the years on this blog as well as on Tossing It Out on topics related to music and how it has connected with certain parts of my life. This is a fun way to prompt memories to inspire life writing. If you're interested in doing some of your own Soundtrack posts go over Robin's blog to let her know so she can add your link to the list that she's compiling of others who are doing the same.
In one of Robin's posts she discussed bullying and the cruelty that kids burden other students with during those fragile-to-the-ego times of middle and high schools. Reading her post took me back to my school days. I never had much trouble with being harassed or bullied when I was younger. I was quiet and mostly kept to myself. My physical stature was not such that it emanated any sense of ferocity, but I apparently came across to any of the tougher guys as someone who might be one they wouldn't want to put to the test. Never once in my life have I been involved in any physical altercation that anyone could label as being "a fight".
During my high school years in Tennessee, my daily schedule consisted of being dropped off at the school by my father about a half hour prior to first class. Usually I'd go into the auditorium with its wooden floors worn from the decades of the feet of students that had preceded me. The cavernous space reeked of history and must. My chosen place to which I would retreat nearly every morning of the three years during which I attended this school was in the middle of the section on the left side of the auditorium. Fewer students sat in this area which made it more attractive to me.
Over the years a certain clique of guys like me chose this middle left area as our place to sit while waiting for school to start. We were somewhat nerdy I suppose, but mostly we were the isolated guys who didn't congregate in the smoking area outside behind the auditorium or in one of the other areas where the more popular kids were engaged in the happening social scene or the business of high school activity. The guys I associated with when I wasn't reading, studying for a test, or catching up with homework were those who seemed to chatter aimlessly about topics I now forget. Sometimes one of them might have a joke to tell but I don't remember those either. We mostly just talked to avoid the silence, but never really got to know each other very well. There were few that I could really call friends, but we were just guys who happened to be thrown together in the same place at the same time with the same sense of wanting to belong somewhere.
If I didn't have my focus on something I was reading or listening to one of the other guys ramble with idle talk, my eyes would peruse the rest of the auditorium. Throughout there were clusters of other students who like those in my part of the seating seemed to be in the same places most of the days. Some I knew from the classes I had with them though they were students I didn't really know to the extent that I ever talked to them. Others were students that I'd seen but had no idea about their names or anything about them. We were an assemblage, disparate, yet thrust together in this awkward circumstance of institutional education. The friendship potential was always there, but rarely sought.
My attentions would be variously drawn to different groups at different times depending on whatever activity was occurring that might catch my eyes. It may have been a burst of laughter or some notable noise. Perhaps the movement of bodies gravitating towards some particular spot in the room would cause me to turn and follow them to whatever group they would join. There were people that I might have liked to have known better, but my insecurities kept me from reaching out to them.
That was the auditorium in the morning. Students in their clusters of safety. Refuge from those social circles that might possibly reject anyone from the outside if they tried to become close to them. Eyes stole occasional furtive glances to the other groups with equal parts suspicion and curiosity. Who was talking about whom or even ostracizing those in the groups across the room? Perhaps no malice was ever intended or even felt by any in the other groups, however the paranoia of being a social pariah was ever in the backs of many minds.
And then there was that odd little group of girls at the right front of the auditorium. Sitting at the center of the group like the queen was Minnie. Nearby was Betty Rose, generally acknowledged to be the ugliest girl in our school. This strange assemblage of outcast females was the group that perhaps intrigued me the most...
(To be continued next Saturday May 23rd)
When you were in high school did you have a special place where students would wait before classes began? Did you have a special group with whom you would hang out most of the time? How many close friends did you have in high school?
The cafeteria was usually open before classes started and that's where we'd all go. They had donuts and other pastries for sale too. Before the cafeteria started to let kids wait there, you'd just go to your locker from the bus and then up to homeroom. There was a smoking area outside the cafeteria but I didn't hang out w/ anyone who smoked. I did have friends in school, although I remember being friendless and lonely. Then my cousin always says, 'you were never home! you had so many friends! go look at how many people signed your yearbook!' And then I do look at it and some of the kids wrote, 'to the girl with a million friends'. I had two groups I hung around with...the ones involved w/ our high school radio station and then another group that were just normal, non partying, fun kids. My now husband told me I was unapproachable b/c I was always in a pack of kids in the halls and cafeteria, and he thought I was one of the most popular girls in school. Funny that I don't remember it that way at all. My friends' parties actually consisted of pop, pizza, chips and candy. Never alcohol.
ReplyDeleteJoJo, the smoking areas in schools back then kind of shocked me. I figured our school was an anomaly in allowing smoking. It's funny how we think of ourselves and how other actually perceive us. I've had girls years after the fact tell me that they thought I was kind of cool, but stuck up. Totally different from the way I thought of myself.
DeleteLee
I usually didn't get to high school very long before school let in. If weather was nice, we'd be outside, if weather was bad we had a large foyer between the school and gym. I had three "best" friends throughout high school, two girls and a boy. A handful of other girls that I truly enjoyed being around. I did have a couple of semesters where I was stuck in a lunch period separate from any of my regular friends. That meant I had to branch out a little and hang with some girls I shared classes with. Since I was smart, I knew and associated with a lot of the "smart" kids. I guess my main crowd was average to semi-popular. But I got along with every crowd in school settings. I only truly opened up and was myself with my besties.
ReplyDeleteBarbara, I was on my father's schedule so he dropped me off early because of that. Otherwise I would have had to ride the bus and I wasn't too keen on that. I was like you in that I was one of the smarter kids so those were the students I often related to best, but I got along okay with just about everyone--just didn't get too close to many.
DeleteLee
I'm waiting for May 23rd. I would probably have been in that strange group of girls if they had let me. lol
ReplyDeleteI moved back to my hometown about 15 years ago to help my mother and two handicapped siblings. It has been interesting reconnecting with people. The ones that are fun in perverse way are those still trapped in the social pecking order of our school days. Honestly, being the school geek can be quite freeing.
I knew you had to have Southern roots with a name like Arlee. Although, the more I have met people, I think there are many common factors throughout the United States.
Actually, Ann, I would imagine some of the other students would look at the group I hung around and would think we were strange. I went to my 25th reunion and it was interesting. I think there was still a social pecking order like you experienced, but for most of us things had evened out to the point where we more curious about each other on that night, but since then I've seen very few of them.
DeleteTalking about Southern roots, General Stonewall Jackson is in my family tree and you don't get too much more "Southern" than him. Though I was actually born in Cleveland, Ohio.
Lee
I went to an all girls school- not private, just archaic, where guys from the neighboring school (all boys) were allowed to visit and socialize outside the buildings, where all the teachers could see them. . .there was no open building to wait for classes. I had a close group of 4-6 friends at any given time that endured from the 10 -12 grades. I worked on the school newspaper doing layout and as music columnist. I was an honour student, loved art, French class and drama class, and English Lit. I belonged to the Beta Club and only cut class once with my BFF and got caught - I only got a small slap on the wrist and a mini lecture about getting off on the wrong track. . .most kids at the school were okay.
ReplyDeleteDG, your educational background sounds rather genteel. My experience was always in public schools which was okay with me. You were smart to have become involved with activities like you did. I just went to school and then went home and was involved in very very little.
DeleteLee
I think most students either went to the cafeteria or hung around outside until the bells rang for the first class at my high school. I guess I didn't do much in the morning because I rode the bus up until I was a junior and it always got there about 5 minutes before class started. During my senior year I hung out with two of my best friends outside of our art class (which was in a separate building from the high school) until school started. I had three close friends in high school and we were definitely the nerds, and I was the quiet one. Looking forward to next week's post :)
ReplyDeleteElizabeth, your bus really was cutting things short! I tried to avoid riding the bus as much as possible though sometimes I did have to ride the bus home in the afternoon if there was no one to pick me up from school. In my sophomore and junior years I don't remember having any friends that I hung out with regularly. I did have a few in my senior year and we were all relatively quiet guys.
DeleteLee
I never arrived early enough to have to wait. I walked to school with all the kids in my neighborhood. Then we broke off into our groups.
ReplyDeleteYour bleachers story reminds me of me sitting at my son's baseball games. There are clicks of parents and while we all say hi no one reaches outside of their click to welcome new comers.
Kat, I guess that's just the way people are--stick with their groups and not welcome outsiders.
DeleteLee
I don't remember congregating anywhere before school started. When I started driving to school it was very often a race to make it to my first class (from the parking lot) before the bell rang. I think I tended to arrive pretty close to "time" all the way through.... ha!
ReplyDeleteRobin, you were lucky enough to drive. I never had a car when I was in high school, but there were a good many students who did drive and I think what you describe was the case for them as well. It was the students who rode the early bus or got dropped of by parents like I did who ended up waiting and congregating. We were the captives of the schedules of others.
DeleteLee