A to Z Theme 2016

For my 2016 A to Z theme I used a meme that I ran across on the blog of Bridget Straub who first saw it on the blog of Paula Acton. This meme is a natural for me to use on my memoir blog. It's an A to Z concept and it's about me. No research and nothing complicated. I'm given twenty six questions or topics to discuss that are about me.

In April I kept my posts short and uncomplicated. In the midst of it all you might learn a few things about me that you didn't previously know.
Showing posts with label Troubled marriages. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Troubled marriages. Show all posts

Monday, April 14, 2014

Last to Know #atozchallenge







Dan Fogelberg   "Last to Know"  (1980)



Last To Know

           My first wife loved the music of Dan Fogelberg.   He wrote some romantic songs as well as insightful songs about relationships.   I recall times of us sitting in our electric blue VW Rabbit listening to Fogelberg's "Home Free" cassette tape full blast.  We were both moving toward our individual realms of misunderstanding.  Hurtling uncontrollably toward a break-up that neither of us could do anything about.

         And yet we tried.  We negotiated.  We cried.   If tears would have been gold we would have been wealthy beyond imagination.   But materially we were poor.  Not uncomfortable or without resources, but neither of us had the advantage over the other.

        This was about the time when Dan Fogelberg released the album "Phoenix"   Some of those songs could have been written for us.  I listened to them as though they had been.

        We tried I suppose.  It's hard to remember after all of these years.  I had my idea of what marriage and a man/woman relationship was supposed to be about.  So did she.  Maybe they were the same and we just couldn't see where we merged.   I believe there was love.   I know there was.  Our love just didn't understand what the love was all about.

        The funny thing about it all is that we probably could have made it all work.  As it turned out though there were different plans in place.

          Damn love and all the crazy mixed up emotions involved with it.  If love was always practical then we wouldn't have love songs.

           Did love ever mess with your mind?     Why is it so difficult for people in love to come to agreement about silly life issues so much of the time?     Do you like Dan Fogelberg's music?  

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Thursday, April 4, 2013

Dreaming of You

English: Lapland. 2 o'clock in the morning. I ...
 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


My Darling, can you hear me
As I call you from afar?
A storm awakes me as I dream of your sweet kisses,
Then I lie awake for hours.
         From "Gone, but not Forgotten" by Arlee Bird (1977)

      
         You had gone home to your parents.   I was out on the road, away.   Working.  We needed the money with the baby on the way.   I had this one more job to do before I would be coming to you.  I said.

        Those weeks seemed like years.  Being away so long felt unnatural, for weeks that felt like years.  Our marriage had not been long and it had seen its tumult.   You were probably too young and I too immature in things like relationships.  I was probably not ready for you nor me for you.  You had years of youth to get out of your system and I was ready to be responsible.  I think.

        This was our first time apart since our wedding day.   I felt this emptiness and insecurity in our parting.  Life was going to be vastly different when I joined you in a city new to me.  In a new apartment that you would find while you were free on your own pregnant.

        Me pretending by day and trying to sleep at night, when I dreamed, I dreamed of you.  I dreamed of us.  Uneasy dreams like many of our conflicts.  Sweet dreams like our good times together.  I desperately wanted it all to work.

       Eventually I was done with my gig and in my new home with you.  For a while things went well.  Most of the time, but with those moments of stormy upheaval.   We were too different in many ways and yet so much the same.

       We did make it work for a few years.  Kind of.  And then it didn't work.  That dream ended and new ones took over.

      Sleep came better when I was no longer dreaming of you.



     
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