Kids and Grandkids

 Tony Caris with extended family, Roma, 1937 Three generations of the Caris family are standing on the front steps to the house. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

     When I was a young kid, up to about eight years old, I had frequent contact with my grandparents, especially on my maternal side.  My family didn't live in the same town as my grandparents did, so visiting them or having them visit us was not usually a spur of the moment occurrence.  At various times we lived anywhere from two hundred to less than a hundred miles from them.   Weekend visits were fairly common.  I got to enjoy getting to know my grandparents and extended family fairly well during those first few years.  Still, these were visits and not part of my everyday life.

       Then we moved across the country and didn't see them for the next five years.  When my family later moved to Northern Indiana and then East Tennessee, we were still a bit too far for much more than one or two visits per year.  I was fortunate to have had at least some extended contact with my grandparents, but it was nothing like those who live nearby to theirs.

         With my own children it was a bit different.  They all had frequent visits with my parents as well as their mother's parents.  There were times when we actually stayed with my parents for extended periods or lived near to them.  Cheaper phone rates allowed my kids to have regular contact with the grandparents even when we were on the road or living at a distance.   My children were even closer to their grandparents than I was with mine.

         Now my children are across the country from me and I only get to see my grandchildren maybe twice a year if I'm lucky.   We have the technological advantage of easy phone contact and visual computer chat.  It's not the same as spending time with them and being able to hold them and hug them.  Maybe eventually I'll be able to live closer to all of them.  I hope so.

         Currently I'm in New Jersey with my girls and their girls.  The time has been going quickly.   I'm thankful that we've been able to have the time we have had.   These are special times that I hope one day will come more often.

          If your children are grown, do you see them often?   What about grandchildren--if you have any, are you able to spend much time with them?   Did you enjoy a relationship with your own grandparents?

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xoxoxo-- Kisses and Hugs Like My Grandmother Used to Send Me

Liberated Hugs and Kisses Blocks (Photo credit: Cut To Pieces)

 
     Whenever my grandmother used to send me cards or letters when I was a child, at the bottom she would add "xoxoxo".   The first time I saw this I asked my mother what it meant.  After she told me that the x's were kisses and the o's were hugs, I could see it.  I could see the kisses and hugs.

         I was so enthralled by this charming bit of messaging that I started adding it to my own letters and valentine cards.   To me it was like a secret code that had been imparted to me by my grandmother.  It was a while before I saw the x's and o's anywhere else--in a cartoon I think.  Eventually I realized this was a widespread bit of symbolization that many used, but for me those letters always reminded me of my grandmother's message of love to me.

         Other than in my first seven years of life I never saw my grandmother very often.  We lived too far apart most of the time to allow for many visits.  Even though I rarely was able to spend much time with her after my seventh year, she always remembered my birthdays.  Every Christmas I would eagerly await my grandmother's holiday package of homemade candies and sweets which was loaded with lots of sugar and spice and hugs and kisses.  Though far away geographically, she was always near in my thoughts.

         My grandmother died when I was thirty-seven.  I was able to see her several times after I became an adult and often traveled to where she lived.  One of the best weeks of my life was right after my first year of college when I decided to embark on my own odyssey.

        My grandparents house was one of the stops on my journey.  Each morning my grandmother would fix breakfast and sit with me while I ate.  Later my grandfather, who had already started his rounds around town before I had woken up, would come back to pick me up so he could show off his grandson to the folks he knew.   The idyllic afternoons were spent reading books from their home library or just sitting on the porch with my grandparents.  Such a fine summer week it was!

        It's now been twenty-five years since the passing of my grandmother.  She was a fine lady.  I still hear in my mind the melodic strains of her voice.   The smell of bacon takes me back to those mornings when she'd fix me breakfast.  And when I think of xoxoxo, my grandmother is the first person who comes to my mind.

         Now I'm a grandparent with grandchildren whom I love dearly.  I'll have to teach them about xoxoxox.

         Do you ever sign off letters with x's and o's?   Were you able to have a relationship with your grandparents?   What traditions are you passing on to your children or grandchildren?


         

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