Memories (Elements of Memoir) #AtoZChallenge

     

      The term memoir as might be expected comes from the French mémoire which means memory. A memoir is in essence a particular memory or series of memories from a time of a person's life as opposed to an autobiography which covers an entire life or most of a life. The memoir is steeped in memories and the events, emotions, and reactions from others that relate to those memories.

     Memories are sometimes rather elusive and skewed when seen through the biased eyes of the one telling the story. Without journals or any aids from sources other than the memoirist's own mind, the memories are not always quite as remembered by others. This might work okay if balanced by some recollections of the ways others saw things, but if only relying upon the memory of the one telling the story then the faulty memories can lead to inaccurate story-telling.

     This consideration of the flawed story-telling can make the memoir an interesting perspective that is not quite accurate history. When composing a memoir the writer should engage in memory checks wherever possible though others who were present, reliable media accounts of the time covered, and any other resources that might test the accuracy of the story teller's memory.

      We know that memory can play tricks on us, deceiving us to believe the point of view that puts us in the most positive light if the story is about us. On the other hand, issues of low self esteem or other distorting factors can blow a story out of proportion to make things seem much worse than they were. Often our memory of what we think happened to us in the past is the story we have told ourselves for whatever purpose we are trying to achieve.  This is probably not the story we should tell in a memoir.

Do you think most of your memories of your own past are fairly accurate? Have you ever been told that things were not as bad in the past as you had thought they were? How far back can you remember with fairly assured accuracy?

Related articles

• Memories Implanted Into Sleeping Mice Successfully, Reveals
• How We Deal With Loss In Different Ways In Two Beautifully Written Memoirs
• The Gift of Memoir
• Other People's Secrets: An Interview with Kerry Cohen
• The truth about memoirs - Is yours a brave confession or a book of lies?

Is Age Muddying the Waters of Your Memory?

River Deben saltings Muddy creeks fill up at high water but the salt marsh is rarely covered. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

       According to Greek mythology, the dead drank from the Lethe, the river of forgetfulness, so they would not remember the life that they had recently left.  Sadly, some of us as we grow older begin to sip on those waters of forgetfulness in the years before we leave this Earth.   In some cases it is the afflictions such as dementia or Alzheimer's that can muddle the mind, while others may stay sharp and cognizant into a very old age.  For others it may not as much of an aging thing as it may have to do with poor diet, use of mind-altering substances (alcohol, marijuana, or other drugs either prescribed or recreational), or other memory deterring factors.

        Memory can be a tricky thing that is highly unpredictable.  There are people who tend to be forgetful throughout their lives.  Memory training can be an answer that might help and even certain vitamins, minerals, and other substances have shown to be effective for some.  So far there is no exact science that can perform memory magic for everyone.  There are probably as many variables regarding memory as there are people.

         What are the implications of memory loss for those wanting to write memoir?   The answer is pretty obvious:   For the memoir writer, memory is most of the content.  If the memories aren't there then there is no memoir, but the written work becomes something else entirely.  If the memories are faulty then the memoir is unreliable and potentially a work closer to fiction than anything of historical value.

         Anyone interested in writing their own memoirs someday would do well to begin now.  If you have been thinking of writing your own memoir and have not been keeping track of life then the present is the time to be recording that which tomorrow will be the past.   Journals or diaries are invaluable resources for the memoirist.  These along with scrapbooks and photo albums are the obvious first choices for recording life stories.  Here are a few more for you to consider:

• Make a time-line--A loose leaf binder or a word document works best for this method.  Starting with your birth date, record your life by years filling in highlights and significant events as they come to you.   You can keep going back to add to this as memories come back to you.
• Create a personal folklore--When I was a kid my mother would tell me stories about when she was a child and I did the same with my own kids.  Children love stories so why not get creative with your own life and leave a legacy for your kids.  It's like money in the bank.  When you need to withdraw the memories you've forgotten then maybe your kids can help by retelling the legend of you as they remember hearing it.
• Assemble the artifacts of your life--If you tend to accumulate old memories, why not organize them in a logical sequence.  Write down what they represent and if they aren't dated already, try to record the date as close to what you can remember.
• Talk to family and friends--Conversation is typically an enjoyable pastime for most of us.  Use those times for probing the minds of others as to what they remember about the family history and make notes that will help put pieces of your life in better perspective.  You might even inspire a collaborative family history project.
• Read modern histories--We all have memories of the current events that occurred during our lives and often those events have had impact on us.   What did we do in response to various events and what did we think in those times?   History books and documentaries can touch parts of our lives that we may have forgotten.
• Record a personal documentary--This can be done with audio recordings or even better by video.  You can do this yourself or recruit the help of someone with good equipment and editing skills.  Use all the resources you have on hand to add images and sound bites.  It's best to write the script ahead of time, but the interviews can be improvisational and edited later if necessary.   If you want to do a higher quality job, hire a professional life documentarian.  There are a number who can be found online.  This will be more expensive, but what a great keepsake for you and the rest of your family.  This is a nice gift idea for Christmas--you can have one made for a loved one whose memory you would like to help preserve or have your own life story made with copies to be distributed among those who would like something like this.

      Now is the time to save your own life!  And by that I mean to document your life and your memories for posterity.   Once you have everything in order and still want to focus on writing true memoir--snippets of your life story or the impressions that certain parts of your life left on you--the full overview of the story makes the ideal resource to use for your reference.

        Don't wait until age or some catastrophic mental loss has taken away your memories.   Put them down on record so they won't be totally forgotten.

          What are some things you do to help you to remember the details of your life?   Have you tried any of the suggestions I've made here?    Do you have anything about the life of a friend, someone in your family, or some other person significant to you that was left in your care?

Related articles

• Always be disclosing: Alec Baldwin to write memoir, Nevertheless
• 7 Practices to Create Your Best Writing Year Yet
• The truth through memories
• On Writing a Memoir
• Want To Be A Creative Writer?

Sugar Shoppe: A Confused Aural Memory

         When it comes to writing memoir or just reminiscing about one's past, the internet is hard to beat for putting things in perspective in a quick and convenient fashion.   I've been able to trace obscure parts of my lineage, look up places I've been in the past, or pinpoint dates I was confused about.

          A case in point is when I was looking for information regarding my current Battle of the Bands post at Tossing It Out.   And let me stop here for a moment while you click over to read that post if you'd like.  For those who don't know about the Battle of the Bands posts, they are part of a blog event that occurs on the 1st and 15th of each with a handful of bloggers participating.   Anyone is welcome to join in if they like.   If you join us, let us know and we will add your link to our list   My Battle of the Bands post today includes a song by the group The Sugar Shoppe.

         Now back to the story.  Somewhere in my hazy past of younger days, I seem to recall having heard The Sugar Shoppe's rendition of an old song from the 1920's called "Poor Papa".  I was certain that I had heard the song very late one night (or more probably in wee hours of the morning) sometime in February 1966 as I was traveling with my parents to Rochester, New York.  As we neared our destination I listened to the radio station that my father had tuned into.  They were playing some great tunes.  I thought "Poor Papa" was one that I heard during that cold snowy night of driving.

          As it turns out this could not have been possible.  According to all the information I've uncovered on the internet, the vocal group was not formed until 1967 and the album that "Poor Papa" appeared on came out in 1968.   There is no way that I could have heard that song on that night in 1966.

          It would have been in the summer after my junior year of high school when I heard "Poor Papa" played on some radio broadcast that I no longer remember.  I doubt whether it was played on the regular top 40 AM radio station that I would have normally listened to back then.  By this time I was usually finding FM stations that were broadcasting occasional pop and rock music.  Most of the FM radio in Knoxville, Tennessee was Muzak--FM had not particularly caught on at that time.  Still a few FM stations were experimenting with their playlists.

         Wherever it was I had heard "Poor Papa", the song captivated me.   It put me in mind of the New Vaudeville Band hit "Winchester Cathedral" that had come out a couple years before.   I liked the old timey sound.  And it didn't hurt that the production value of the record was very fine.  I discerned that The Sugar Shoppe was probably a very fine group on the basis of hearing that one song.

            Once Christmas neared, I turned in my gift wish list to my mother.   This was a tradition for me.  Each year I'd make a sensible list of things I wanted for Christmas and since I prudently kept the list within a modest budget, my mother usually got everything that I had put on the list.  By high school my lists consisted almost exclusively of record albums that I wanted.   For the Christmas of 1968 my list had selections like The Beatles White Album,  Iron Butterfly's In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, Creedence Clearwater Revival's debut album, and The Sugar Shoppe's album.

           I'm almost surprised that my mother was able to locate the album by The Sugar Shoppe in East Tennessee.  But somehow she found it.  She was good at that.  Rarely was there an album that I asked for that she didn't find.   As I had predicted the Sugar Shoppe album was as good as the one song I had heard--even better in fact.  There was a nice mix of modern music done very well by an outstanding vocal group.

          I still have the album in fact.  It's in excellent condition and plays very well.  In the past few months I've hooked up my turntable in the bedroom across from the room that I use for my office.  I've been digging back into my vinyl collection and listening again after decades of those records sitting dormant on a shelf.  Listening to the Sugar Shoppe album is what prompted me to include a cut by them in one of my Battle of the Bands posts.   I began investigating YouTube and found that the song "Privilege" had videos for versions by two artists.   I had my song and now I could share the music of this great neglected group with my blog readers.

          We'll find out what the response is in this episode of Battle of the Bands.  If you haven't visited the post I'll give you another chance.   Click here and take a listen.  What did you think of the song?   Which version did you like best?   Did you vote?

           Do you use search engines to jog your memory about things in your past?   Was there ever a time when you heard a song and decided that you just had to have the album it came from?   Do you still own any recordings that you owned in high school or before?

Related articles

• What @We_Love_Aural is all about.
• The Music that Defined My Childhood
• This Week In History: The Beginning Of Elton John's Greatness & More
• Victor Garber and Alan Thicke have been named to Canada's Walk of Fame

School Days: Building Who We Are

Adolescence 

           In this post we continue to consider The Stages of Life for the Purpose of  Memoir.   My previous post, Memories of Baby Life:  Do We Have Accurate Recall?, looked at the formative years that shape the basis of how we see ourselves and how we perceive that others see us.  I think it would be accurate to say that the preschool years form the foundation of who we are.

Building a Person

         If those baby years are the foundation, the educational years are the time when we build upon that foundation. Our education consists of honing our mental faculties and learning social skills.   Prior to school, most of us probably experienced relatively sheltered lives where we felt like the center of a universe that primarily consisted of our families, relatives, and other people with similar background.   After our first day of school our world becomes radically changed.

         Now we are thrust into a social environment that forces us to interact with teachers and other children.  It becomes more difficult to run to the security of home and parents.  We learn to cope and become more independent.  Most of us adapt pretty readily--it's either swim with the flow or try to cling to whatever it is we hope will save us.  Adaptation may vary depending on the foundation that was established in early life.  Some kids have a tougher time than others, but they're all in it together.

         These school years are where the memories start becoming clearer and more organized.  Since we are older and have more experience with life, we understand things better and can put what is happening in life in better perspective.  We usually will develop friendship relationships that can last for many years and in some cases into later life.  The basics of getting along with others and dealing with conflict on our own begin developing early on and grow as the educational years continue.   Some will fall short in these endeavors, but most of us manage.

         The daily educational curriculum forces us to learn new skills and gain new knowledge that will assist our intellectual development.   Our aspirations of what we want to be after we graduate and become adults may come into clearer focus.   We are aware of our abilities and interests.

          The school years are rich in activities and milestones that stand out in our minds.  Stories about the events become ingrained within us to be told years later.  Much of our memory will hopefully be happy or interesting, however some may be hurtful and even traumatic.  The events all become the narrative of the years of education.

Mining for the Memories

         I can recall a great deal of my student years, but I have probably forgotten more than I can remember. This is a time of life when I can't always ask a family member about what happened because often they weren't there.  But that is always a good place to start.  Some of the memories will be shared experiences while other memories may be second hand or something they can relate to their personal memories.

         One of the best prompts for each school year are my class pictures.  When I was younger I wrote down names of students who I remembered on the pictures.  Those names can be easy to forget over the years and having written the names can revive memories when I look at those pictures.  My high school yearbooks are especially valuable to stimulate the nerve endings of my recall.

         Another help is that I have saved many old school papers and documents.  Report cards and official school records can be very useful.   Copies of the high school newspaper have reminded me of things that I had totally forgotten.   It would be impractical to try to save everything from those years and I have culled out much that did not seem would ever be useful.  However, I have kept many school papers, tests, and drawings that can take me back to that time long ago.

           Unfortunately, other than school pictures, I don't have many other photos of the school years.  My mother may have some, but I have not seen those for many, many years.  I'll have to check one day to see what she still has.   Old photos are by far one of the best helps in remembering years gone by.

           Some things I do have are souvenirs, mementos, and collections.  A post card collection that I started when I was young recounts family vacations and other milestones.  My stamp collection is something I spent many hours organizing when I was in my years before high school.  It's been many years since I've looked at it in depth, but I can guarantee that if I were to break it out and comb through it many memories would be stirred.

           What are some things that you still have from your school years?   Did you keep a diary that you still have?   Do you have mostly good or bad memories of the school years?   Or do you remember much at all?