A to Z Theme 2016
For my 2016 A to Z theme I used a meme that I ran across on the blog of Bridget Straub who first saw it on the blog of Paula Acton. This meme is a natural for me to use on my memoir blog. It's an A to Z concept and it's about me. No research and nothing complicated. I'm given twenty six questions or topics to discuss that are about me.In April I kept my posts short and uncomplicated. In the midst of it all you might learn a few things about me that you didn't previously know.
Monday, April 7, 2014
For No One #atozchallenge
The Beatles "For No One"
For No One
Two divorces in my life were two too many. There weren't supposed to be any or did I misunderstand something? I could have sworn I'd heard something about "Until death do us part". Maybe it was just something people say in a ritual.
My parents never got a divorce. They had been married 40 years when my father died. Divorce was rather scandalous when I was growing up. I knew very few kids whose parents had been divorced. Then I got divorced. Not once, but twice.
From the outset of each marriage I thought I'd found my perfect mate. I had no reason to believe that those marriages wouldn't last until the end of my life. I guess attitudes were different than when my parents got married. It was a generation of new ideas and individualism. Or was it bad old ideas and selfishness?
It's a bit difficult to think back with an objective viewpoint to understand how it all happened. My first wife and I actually discussed the circumstances twenty-some years after the divorce and we agreed that we probably screwed up, but there was nothing left to do but forgive and move on with our lives as they are. We're on friendly terms when we do communicate, but that's rarely. Just when it's something regarding our son who will be 37 in July.
My second wife is a different story entirely. That marriage lasted far longer than my first and then inexplicably it all ended. I don't know why. And we haven't spoken since that time. I'm not sure how she feels about it all, but for me there was a lot of hurt that has faded into my past. I probably don't need to know now because now it probably no longer matters.
I'm done with divorce. I've been married to my present wife for going on 18 years and things are very nice. I'm in it for the "death do us part" thing. Marriage is supposed to weather storms and get through cloudy days. Divorce is not a real solution, it's just running away from the solutions that could have been agreed upon.
Have you had to deal with any divorce in your own family or your own marriage? Did you ever come close to getting a divorce but found a way to resolve it? How big of a problem do you think divorce is in modern society?