A to Z Theme 2016

For my 2016 A to Z theme I used a meme that I ran across on the blog of Bridget Straub who first saw it on the blog of Paula Acton. This meme is a natural for me to use on my memoir blog. It's an A to Z concept and it's about me. No research and nothing complicated. I'm given twenty six questions or topics to discuss that are about me.

In April I kept my posts short and uncomplicated. In the midst of it all you might learn a few things about me that you didn't previously know.

Saturday, April 26, 2014

What I Did For Love (#atozchallenge)


A Chorus Line   "What I Did For Love" (1975)

What I Did For Love

         Love is like the fuel that moves us though life.  We all want to be loved and we need someone--or something--to love.   The love to motivate us.  Inspire us. Comfort us.   Love is one of the basic needs of survival.

         My parents showed great love for me and my siblings.  We never lacked for anything and had more than we ever needed.  I tried my best to do the same for my own children and to a great extent I think I succeeded.   I could have done better for my son, but I believe my daughters felt very loved.  They tell me so now and they've all grown to be happy well-adjusted women who are doing the same for their children.  Some aspects of love are learned from the experiences of childhood.   I did my best for my daughters.

         There is a certain amount of sacrifice involved in loving.  I prefer not to think of it as sacrifice as much as a sort of moral obligation and a driving need to give those whom we love the love that we want for ourselves.  It's the Golden Rule.  It should all come naturally, but for some I guess it doesn't.  That's something that I don't understand, but maybe that's because I've never been beaten down in life.   I have always been loved even when I didn't feel so loved.

           Others have hurt me and I know I've hurt people.  I never wanted to--not deep inside--but sometimes in anger we can lash out.  We can say the regrettable, speaking the words that cut deep and become difficult to forget.   And cruel cutting words have been said to me more than I would have liked.

           Loving is a risk that we take in our lives.  Sometimes we win and when we lose the losses can be huge.  When the hurt has come I have tried to hate, but the hatred, the anger, the hurt are temporary.  For me at least that is the case.  I've let things go.  Or perhaps I just have a lousy memory.

           There is no lost love in my life, only love tucked neatly away in a sad darkened corner of my memory. True love never dies.  How can it?  It's something that existed in time and therefore exists in eternity.  If I once felt love then that love is still there.  Somewhere.  I might not admit it.  I can't admit it to some for they might misunderstand.  Sometimes people get confused by love.

          What have I done in my life for love?   I have allowed myself to become vulnerable.  I have laid my soul bare at the risk of being hurt.   I have been willing to let my obsequious tears flow into the invisible river that love has filled through the ages.  When I have loved I have given my weak and trembling heart into the hands of that someone whom I trusted and held in esteem.

          Betrayal and rejection has caused pain that seemed like it would be infinite.  But it wasn't.  Anger subsided.  Wretched bitterness was sweetened by the passage of time.  And as I look back on the paths that led me to where I am now I realize that all was to be as it is. Love never really dies.  Everything that has happened in my life is who I am now and that is okay.

           I did many things for love and learned many lessons.  I can never stop loving.  Never.

           Do you believe that love can ever die?    Has time diminished any bad feelings for those who may have hurt you in the past?   Do you recognize the love that is in your life now?

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  1. Well I really didn't love my ex husband much the last few years of our marriage. Time has diminished my hard/hurt feelings with everyone except for my mom. She's just a shrew. I am surrounded with love now which is awesome, but for my relationship with her. It's really too bad but she was and is a harpy and one of those people who don't know how to love unconditionally. Everything comes with strings attached.

  2. If we love, we will be hurt, this is a fact. But to not love or be loved is hurtful, too.

    My children's love and my mother's love are the best, I think.

    I've always believed that in a man/woman relationship, love is never equal. One will love the other more.

  3. A lovely post. Yes, like you I too believe that love never dies. It teaches you a lot of things like understanding, dealing with hurt, overcoming dislike and finally, it teaches the most vital lesson of letting go. Love is the greatest teacher in the world.
    Thank you Arlee....

  4. Deep thoughts, Lee....

    Does love die? I have no idea. I know there's no way to avoid the hurt when it goes bad.

    After the initial hurt fades, and it does, I try to remember that you have to accept people for what they are.

    The hurt usually comes from them not being what you want them to be.

    I also do not think of failed relationships in terms of winning or losing.

    You both win, and you both lose.

    You lose each other, and you win the opportunity to move forward.

    But then, what the heck do I know?


  5. Thank you for the chance to listen again to one of my favorite songs.

    Having a lousy memory for hurt is a great gift. Maybe it is tat gift that allows love, having been, to never die.

  6. >>... the hatred, the anger, the hurt are temporary. For me at least that is the case. I've let things go. Or perhaps I just have a lousy memory.

    That was a funny line, LEE!

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

  7. The first time I heard that song, I had to stop when I realized the sacrifices made.

    "I have been willing to let my obsequious tears flow into the invisible river that love has filled through the ages. " This line also made me stop.

    Strong perspectives expressed so wonderfully. Thanks, Lee.

  8. JoJo --Personally I don't believe in unconditional love. There are always strings attached somewhere. I'm sure you must have had some good times with your mom that you can dig up. But of course I can only speak for myself and that's what I've done here.

    Teresa -- A precise equilibrium in love is almost impossible to achieve. Sometimes we might come close and the dynamics of the love may shift. Marriage can be such a difficult thing to keep on an even keel for many people.

    Shail -- Love can teach us so much and unfortunately sometimes the lesson comes too late.

    Larry -- I guess you know as much as most of us. It's hard to know anything for certain when you start dealing with such a powerful emotion such as love.

    LD-- It is a beautiful song. I went to see the touring company for Chorus Line twice in 1981 in two different cities. Wonderful show.

    StMc-- I meant it to be funny, but it is also a bit serious. I wonder about my memory sometimes. But for situations like forgiveness I think a bad memory can help a lot.

    Susan K-- Thank you for that encouragement. If there is no sacrifice then it's doubtful that there is love.


  9. We all want to have companionship and someone to share things with.
    It's the human way. Finding it and having it endure is the hard part. Finding the right match is the first step.

    Have a great Sunday, Lee!

  10. The hardest reality I've had to face as a caregiver for my mom, who I know loved me, but sometimes acted as if she didn't like me much - is that I will never have the chance to know why. I wonder about that kind of love. Is it an inherent part of her or was there a reason only she knew or did I just read it wrong. Love is tough and painful and in my experience, it never dies.


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Arlee Bird