Love looks through a telescope; envy through a microscope. ~ Josh Billings ~
Judging others can sometimes be difficult for us not to do. When we first begin to love someone, judgment is often set aside because we are so captivated by a new lover or friend. Then as time goes by and the newness wears off, we sometimes start noticing things we missed in the earliest stages of a relationship. We begin to see through the judge's eyes.
Over time we pick up on quirks and habits that may begin to bother or even annoy us. Accept them. That's who they are. If you love, there are some things you should let go. If something was once endearing, why should it become irksome? If we loved a person for who they were when we met them, then we should love who they are now.
People can change and change can be for the good or for the bad. Take care when we judge. Is the judgement warranted? Is that person helping themselves in what they do? Are they hurting us or others? Sometimes judgement is necessary. Be sure that our judgement is meant to help others and not just make ourselves seem better.
What kinds of judgement are the worst in a relationship? When is judgement necessary? Have you ever felt that you were under the wrath of the judgement by a person you loved?
I am under the wrath of two people I love dearly but alas don't want or need me in their lives, They in turn by their judgement are depriving my grandchildren from having contact and vice versa.
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed your post.
Yvonne.
I frequently feel as if I am being judged - the thing is, I am told that, no, he is not judging me. Sometimes I decide that it is me judging me. And I can be very unaccepting of myself.
ReplyDeleteMy mother judges me enough w/o it happening in my relationship. My guy and I accept each other and our flaws w/o question, although I do get annoyed when he picks on my driving or choice of parking spaces. He's been a professional driver his whole life, first delivering Coca Cola for 25 years and now drives his own rig.
ReplyDeleteOh my love was a red, red rose,
ReplyDeleteperfect in every way.
Oh my love was a red, red rose
then to my dismay
a thorn appeared
and my love faded away.
http://www.melanieshulz.blogspot.com
We're a discriminating lot, we humans. It's in our DNA. But it's that penchant for selectivity that makes us seek out those who complement our own idiosyncracies. I love the microscope/telescope quote -- it's appropos and very telling of our own inability to leave well enough alone. If you meddle with the details, you end up missing the whole person.
ReplyDeleteI admire your keen observations and the humanity behind them. Lovely post today.
And thank you for your many kind remarks on my blog. You're far too generous.
I find that it's the things that first draw you to a person are what finally get on your nerves ...
ReplyDeleteYvonne-- It's so sad.
ReplyDeleteGracie -- I think this often true, but sometimes the self-judgement stems from what somebody else may be hinting at or actually saying.
JoJo -- Maybe he's trying to be helpful, but I know how annoying that can be.
Melanie -- Love the verse. It is so true.
Mike-- Thanks for visiting and commenting. It is weird how we can focus on silly details.
Trish -- This is so true!
Lee